Individual Therapy vs Couples Therapy: Which One Do You Need?

When a relationship is hurting, it is natural to wonder who needs to be in the therapy room. Maybe you feel stuck in the same argument and want your partner to come with you. Maybe your partner is not interested, and you are wondering whether going alone would even help. Or maybe the problem feels like it lives inside you: the anxiety, the people-pleasing, the way you shut down when things get tense.

All of these are good reasons to seek support, and they point in slightly different directions. This guide explains what each option involves, when individual therapy for relationship issues makes the most sense, when couples therapy is the better fit, and how the two can work together.

What is individual therapy?

Individual therapy, sometimes called individual psychotherapy, is work between you and a therapist. The focus is you: your history, your feelings, your patterns, and the changes you want to make. You can talk about your relationship in as much depth as you like, without worrying about how your partner will react.

At our practice, individual therapy sessions are 50 minutes and draw on approaches such as psychodynamic therapy, Internal Family Systems, EMDR, narrative therapy and culturally informed care. Read more on our one-on-one therapy page.

What is couples therapy?

In couples therapy, both partners meet with one therapist. The "client" is not either person alone, but the relationship between you. The therapist helps you both see the cycle you get caught in and practice new ways of communicating and repairing. Our couples therapy is informed by the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy. For a full walkthrough, see what couples therapy is and how it works.

Side by side

When individual therapy for relationship issues makes sense

You do not need your partner in the room to make real changes in your relationship. When one person shifts how they respond, the whole pattern often shifts too. Individual therapy for relationship issues can be a good starting point when:

• Your partner is not ready. You can still understand your side of the cycle and decide what you need.
• You notice the same patterns across relationships. Choosing similar partners, fearing abandonment, or losing yourself to keep the peace.
• You are unsure whether to stay. A private space to think clearly, without pressure from either direction.
• Past trauma is surfacing. Earlier experiences can shape how safe closeness feels. Approaches such as EMDR may help.
• You are carrying relationship anxiety. Constant doubt or reassurance-seeking often responds well to individual work.
• Family and culture are part of it. For example, family pressure around marriage or a partner your parents do not accept.

When couples therapy is the better fit

Couples therapy tends to be the right choice when both partners want to work on the relationship, and the main difficulty is the dynamic between you: the same fight on repeat, growing distance, trouble recovering after conflict, or rebuilding trust after a breach. It is also valuable before big transitions such as marriage, a move or becoming parents. Our guide to signs you need couples therapy may help you decide.

Can you do both?

Yes, and many people do, either at the same time or one after the other. Some therapists prefer that individual and couples work happen with different clinicians, so the couples therapist can stay balanced between partners. Others are comfortable combining them in certain situations. Because we are a group practice, we can often arrange individual and couples work with different members of our team.

Group therapy vs individual therapy

People sometimes also weigh group therapy vs individual therapy. Groups can offer peer support, the relief of hearing that others share your experience, and often a lower cost. Working one-on-one offers more privacy, more time focused on you, and a plan built around your history. Our practice focuses on individual, couples and family work, and we are happy to talk through other options if a group sounds like a better fit.

The benefits of individual therapy, even in a relationship

The benefits of individual therapy often reach well beyond the relationship itself: clearer boundaries, less people-pleasing, a steadier sense of self, and more ability to stay calm in conflict. Those changes tend to make every relationship, with partners, parents and colleagues, feel more manageable. If cost is part of your decision, see how much therapy costs in California.

Reviewed by Salonia Singh, LMFT (License #132413). Salonia is the founder and clinical supervisor of Salonia Singh Therapy and Associates, a Pepperdine-trained Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist trained in EMDR, the Gottman Method (Levels 1 and 2), Emotionally Focused Therapy, Internal Family Systems, Brainspotting and polyvagal-informed care. She works in English, Punjabi and Hindi. About the practice · Meet the team

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